The Santanic Verses chapter 1

"Is that jingle bells overhead?"
Jesus tossed Linda a cheese straw, it bounced off her wine glass and split into two.
"Thanks." she picked it up and started gnawing.
Jumping up Jesus made his way towards the window and poked his nose between the heavy velvet curtains. "Oow... where is he? He's late!"
"Give him a chance he does work hard," came the reply.
"I know he does for christsakes! He works hard, bloody hard....for one night a year!"
"You telling me he's got that beer gut from mince pies?"
"That’s booze, hard drinking, the guys got a serious drink problem, i've told him myself. You've got to slow it down Nick... i told him.. You’re not immortal you know!"
Jesus realised what he had said and relaxed "I just care about him that’s all."
Linda took another bite, "I know you do." Shards of cheesestraw spayed across the table. A frail old woman shuffled into the room, in her hands was a round steel tray. It took her forever to reach the table, like watching Houdini cross Niagra falls on a tightrope step by step. Linda and Jesus were spellbound, the tension was unbearable, their eyes transfixed to the two large cups of mulled wine clinking together. "Phew... the eagle has landed!", Jesus clenched the handle and took a large slurp.
"Thank you mother Theresa, may god bless you." Linda smiled kindly and caressed her walnut-like cheek.
"Yeah. er.." Jesus burped "Bless you mother."
"A Happy and holy birthday to you Jesus... any sign of the wanderer?"
"His phone is switched off.....last seen over Croydon." Jesus informed her.
"Lets hope he's not too long, the duck is beginning to crisp up." whispered Theresa and shuffled slowly back to the kitchen. "Ahhh yes.. the aroma is most arousing to the holy spirit. Lets hope fatty makes it!"...........